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By Pat Nolan|Published Date: November 10, 2009
There are about 1.7 million children with a parent in prison in the United States. These youngsters didn’t do anything wrong, yet they pay a heavy price for their parent’s crime. The most obvious penalty is the absence of their parent: missed school plays and soccer games, and most important, no hugs.
In addition, these children are often teased and feel shame, even if no one mentions that their parent is in prison. They are frequently reduced to living in poverty and many times get shuffled from relative to relative or even placed in foster homes.
When I went to prison, my five-year-old daughter didn’t understand any of the legal proceedings. All she knew was that one day I was there and the next day I had disappeared from her life. She felt abandoned.
While we can’t replace the missing parent, there are many ways we can soften the impact of incarceration on their children. The Council of State Governments (CSG) has produced a very helpful guide suggesting policy changes to make sure these children don’t “fall through the cracks.”
In Children of Incarcerated Parents: An Action Plan for Federal Policymakers, the CSG has developed a practical guide that will be very useful for corrections officials, legislators and advocates for children and families. It recommends several reasonable changes in policies that will limit the harm done to children with parents in prison and prepare the children to become vibrant, contributing members of society when they grow up.
It is important to remember that it is not just government that should reach out and help the children of the incarcerated. Community groups should ensure that they are not left out of programs and activities. Several churches in the Southern California area have established the Get on the Bus program that takes children to see their incarcerated parents on Mothers Day and Fathers Day. What a blessing it is for the children to see their parents—and it is a blessing for the parents as well to hold and hug their sweet children, whom they would never see without the program. Tears of joy flow from the moment the buses arrive until they depart. There is a similar program in New York State.
Prison Fellowship has a long-standing commitment to children of incarcerated parents. For 27 years, it has supported families of prisoners through its Angel Tree program, including Christmas gifts and camping and mentoring opportunities. The program links children of prisoners with a local church congregation to deliver gifts in their parent’s name. The church helps cement the bond between the children and their parent and brings reconciliation and hope to these families separated by incarceration.
Since 1982, Prison Fellowship’s Angel Tree has delivered Christmas gifts to more than 8 million prisoners’ children nationwide, provided camping experiences to approximately 40,000 children of prisoners and mentored some 5,000 prisoners’ children. Each of the children touched by the Angel Tree program knows that they are special and that they are loved unconditionally by many people. That goes a long way to overcoming the stigma of having a parent in prison.
The CSG report is a good reminder that it is in society’s interest to strengthen the families of the incarcerated. Justice Fellowship will be working with state and federal officials to implement these policies and make a priority of meeting the needs of these oft-neglected children.
In His service
Pat Nolan
Vice President, Prison Fellowship
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